Stop Leveling and Start Living

Don't you love it when things don't go exactly the way you planned them to? Well for many of us probably not, but for me this morning, though I had a certain agenda, God decided to modify that agenda in order for Him to complete His.

Thank you Jesus.

You see, earlier today, I had the opportunity to speak with a friend, and we had a pretty interesting conversation revolved around a topic where many a time I have indulged myself in since I was about four or five.

Video games.

Video games first captivated my attention as a boy and instilled in me a vast desire to want to leap into myriads of different worlds and embark on copious adventures that would lead me to not only endless amounts of treasures and glory, but to what seemed to be infinite amounts of fun.

As I grew older however, this quickly became a stumbling block.

At one point something that was simply intended to entertain became an investment of not only my time, but of my finances as well.

As a result, not only did my relationships with my family and friends suffer, but the importance of being immersed into virtual reality began to take priority over actual reality.

The amount of money that I freely and willingly poured into these games not only began to diminish the amount of funds I had worked so hard to earn, but I was also funding the very thing that was causing me to waste my time and destroy my relationships in the first place.

I was so focused on gaining levels in a game because it gave me some sort of feeling of achievement, that I wasn't hitting any such mark or achievement in real life.

Fortunately, the Lord has since freed me from this over the last few months and I have been able to invest the better portion of my time and the better portion of my finances in ways that could honor God; and even more than that, repair the relationships with my family and friends.

Now, back to the God given conversation.

Though I may have a relationship with Christ, not all of my friends do. With this being said, being mindful of what one says and when we say them during certain moments is very important.

I thought that instead of completely summarizing the conversation my friend and I had, that I would simply quote it all for you us to read through together. (For the record I did ask him before doing this. Bet he sure would have been surprised if I hadn't)

Friend: “Well Godfrey, I suck. I said I wouldn't do it. I tried for so long to not do it. I just have a problem, and the first step is admitting it, but I have admitted it over and over again.

Over the last three months I've spent like $2,500 on NX... (In game virtual currency)

I don't even know why. What do I have to show for it?”

Me: “Wow. That's a lot.”

Friend: “It may as well be $1,000,000 considering I don't have a job, and have student loan debt.”

Me: “And you got absolutely nothing? Which isn't the point, but what are you going to do?”

Friend: “I mean I have virtual clothing and pets... =___= I just suck.”

Me: “Well, I'm glad you learned something, but what are you going to do now?”

Friend: “I just have to not spend and try to still play. They (video game Company) just make it so hard in this game.”

Me: “Okay that sounds like a plan, though tempting yourself by playing may be an issue. But whatever you think is best. Just don't lengthen that debt.”

Friend: “You need to grind (the process of engaging in repetitive tasks to achieve something) for 2 months to get the gold AND materials that you need to MAKE your swords...You have to farm for another week to get your enchant PREFIX and SUFFIX.

You enchant the weapon, you need to use the scroll and your weapon. If you want that scroll to NOT blow up your weapon(small percentage that scroll will fail and you will lose weapon/item) you need to buy a $8.90(Dollars, real life currency) rune that is one time use, once for EACH enchant, which can STILL FAIL.

Got both your enchants on? Good. You have about a 33% chance for them to EACH work so if you got that far, you would think you're golden right?

NOPE.

Then you need to enhance the QUALITY of your weapons. +1, +2, +3 are "safe", but +4-8 you have a chance where your weapon will explode: 44%, 9-10 you can still use runes on, to protect them ($8.90 a pop, no guarantee that they will WORK) then from 10-15 you have a 10%, 5%, 2% chance they will succeed and you can't protect them.

You need AT LEAST a +10 weapon to be considered "okay"for raiding.

And all that alone is for your WEAPON.

Now you have to repeat the process with Helm, Chest, Pants, Gloves, Boots, Ring, Ring(Two ring slots), Earing, Shoulder, Belt, Necklace, Badge, Bracelet.”

Me: “Do you remember the conversation we had about why I stopped playing games other than not having much time?”

Friend: “Yeah :C”

Me: “Okay.

Video game Company’s especially mmo's (massive multiplayer online games) and rpg’s (role playing games) are, above all, a business.

They will do whatever they can to entice you into getting engrossed into their game, and then once you start getting the hang of it, in order to get "good" you have to follow "their" 10 easy steps (any number I just made ten up) on how to be the best.

At first it's easy. Just level up and get good gear. But in order to get 'the best gear' you have to spend a little money at the 'beginning' you know, just so your weapon won't blow up. Once your weapon ‘survives’ the transition. Then it has to go through another trial. Except this time you have to spend even more money, and there is still a chance that it will fail.

This is how they get you.

It's like the lottery. You get something good once, maybe, and once you do, they (Video game companies) try and get you to spend more and more, meanwhile you’re over there hoping that you get a similar result to the one you had last. Except once you reach those results, if indeed you do, it doesn't feel like you've won, simply because it cost you a whole lot of "real world money" to get there. 

As much as we wish the virtual world was real sometimes, we live in the real world.

I'm not saying that spending is bad or that video games are bad, but when a game is asking and telling and demanding that we spend real world money until we reach a certain point of being good at any game, yet they set up so many snares to ensure that we fail in order that we have to spend more time and in turn more money in their game, that is more of them doing business than us having fun.

That's how I feel about events. (In game events).

‘For two days only!’

‘Limited edition plate skirt!’(I don't know, just made something up. Good example about how the limited edition thing is never worth it though)

You ‘just’ have to play for 44 hours and spend x amount of real life currency! If you don't live in America it's okay! We have currency exchange! That way everyone gets what they want! (Especially the video game companies getting us more addicted to their game that will hopefully get us to continue to throw our money at them.

It's just a ‘game’ to them. (Ironic)

They want you to have fun, so you can play and enjoy the game in order for you to advertise it to as many people as you can. Then once you all are having fun together, you can spend money together and justify the spending together! Then the cycle repeats and they continue to get rich off us and our friends. Sounds fun right?

‘Definitely worth it.’

‘Or… Or, you can just play 47.9 hours and get it for free! But that won't ensure that you'll get it! So enter your credit card information here!’

Games are fun and all, but I've learned to stop letting those companies control my life.

Playing every once and a while is fine, but not to the point where I feel worse off than before, broke, and not really getting anything done in real life.”

Friend: “Yeah, and I agree with you on ALL of that but I have made video games my life and it's all I know.”

Me: “Well I'm not asking you to quit, but I do think it's wise that you either play another game that demands less of your wallet and maybe even less of your time or just take a break altogether and try something else.

It depends on you though.

It's tough, but the only way things will change is if you want them to.”

Friend: “Truth Yo.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT AT YOU AND GIVING ME VIABLE FEEDBACK <3"

Me: “Anytime sir. Literally. If you need anything. Just let me know.”

Now, I could have picked up the bible and thrown a whole bunch of verses at him about being a good steward of his money, and how we aren't tempted beyond our ability, but that would not have helped him. He wasn't asking for advice, he wasn't asking for my opinion, he wasn't asking for scripture, he just wanted me to listen.

Many times, this is the hardest thing for me. 

I’m a man. Men like to fix things. Whether it’s as complex as trying to remedy a situation with women (HA, good luck with that one) or taping up a piece of paper, we like to make things better.

Unfortunately wanting to makes things better does not insure that things would end that way.

If I would have approached this situation differently, and recited bible verses to him instead of giving him my attention and sincerely showing that I care for him; not only would I have come off as the furthest thing from demonstrating those things, but his views of not only me, but more importantly of God may have changed as well.

In first John Chapter three verse eighteen reads,

“Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions” (New Living Translation. 1Jn. 3.18).

If I've learned anything over the past year, it’s that sometimes demonstrating the love of Christ is just as important as speaking it.

There was a saying that I’ve heard a few years back, and I heard it during a time that I was struggling with how to minister to people, especially those close to me.

“Your life maybe the only bible someone ever reads.”

Perhaps there are given circumstances that require deep scripture and biblical study, but we don’t always have to get all theological to be able to minister to someone.

Sometimes ministering to someone is as simple as giving someone a bit of your time and listening to what they have to say.

Strengthening the relationships in our lives will in themselves become open doors and as a result, showing Christ through our lives will eventually lead to speaking about Him to others.

So today, if I may, I want to tell you two things.

First, if there is anything hindering you from “living a life worthy of the calling that you have received” (Ephesians 4:1) stop trying to gain levels in that area of your life. Stop investing your time and your money and your emotions into things that are not edifying you are those around you. Your life, the lives of your friends, your wallet and your emotions will thank you greatly.

Secondly, don’t allow your focus to solely be on trying to minister to someone, because “Sometimes we are so busying trying to do ministry, that we are ‘too busy’ to do ministry.” Be there for people. Listen to them. Demonstrate God’s love, and those actions will minister to others on their own.

“Let all that you do be done in love”

 (English Standard Version.1Co.16:14)

The Purpose Behind Our Motives

I had written this a while ago, and for some reason I felt God telling me not to post it up yet. I don’t know, I just do what the big guy says. Maybe he wanted someone specific to read it. Again I don’t know, but I hope that you enjoy it. God Bless!

Well, the fall semester ended a little over a week ago, and I could not be happier to finally have some time to do absolutely nothing related to reading, writing or any form of work at all.

Or at least reading and writing relating to school.

Very recently, because I've had so much time on my hands, I've found myself having the opportunity to be able to read books that I normally would not have the time for, as well as time to write about various things.

The stack of books on my desk, as well as the several pages of written work on both my computer and smartphone could attest to the amount of work that I have committed to during my “leisure time.”

Unfortunately, as a result of all this reading and writing, I began experiencing something that I don’t normally feel during my breaks from school.

Stress. More specifically, stress about getting things done.

I found that the faster that I tried to complete certain things, the more stress I found myself under. I didn't mean to bring all this stress upon myself. I just wanted to finish as many books and write as many things as I possibly could in the short amount of time that I had been allotted during the break. Was that really so bad?

Well in my case it was, solely because of my intentions.

You see, reading and writing in themselves are not something that should cause anyone stress, but when I began placing stipulations or conditions under which I tried to do these things, then yes, stress could definitely be a factor.

Though, this was not really the true issue to begin with. Stress was just a fruit of the real problem that I was facing.

What I was doing was trying to breeze through all my reading and writing just to say that I read x amount of books and wrote x amount of pages. Though I did get plenty out of the books I read, and put in plenty into the things I wrote, my intentions were to race to complete something rather than to get something out of what I was doing.

Reading and writing aren't in themselves bad, but when I’m only doing something in order to get something out of it, or just to get it out of the way in order to do something else or do something better, than that is.

Many of us focus on the end result rather on the process that it takes to get there. Hoping and willing to get to the end of something is great and all, but that should not be our aim. We should be focusing on the process that it takes us to get there in order for us to appreciate what it costs to achieve it.

What I gathered very early on during my break from school this year, was that just because we may have good intentions to complete certain things does not mean that we do them for the right reasons.

School being a perfect example.

How many times have we completed homework assignments or papers just for the sake of getting them done? How much focus did we give those assignments? Was it enough to earn an A? Or, was it just enough to get by?

For me, though the many things that I was trying to complete was not for school, I was not aiming for a high grade at all. In fact, though I would say that I was proud of the work that I was producing and was “hoping” to produce, my motives were misplaced.

I was more focused about getting things out of the way just to say that I did them rather than getting the most I could have out of the situation; and for many of us, that’s how we go through life, just looking to the end.

Have we ever really stopped and thought about why we may be in a certain situation? What if those situations that we were so eager to get out of was a place where God specifically designated for us to be? What if we were so quick to get out of those situations that we missed a divine appointment set up by God?

When we are so quick to get out of something, because of stress, anxiety, fear, or anything else that is clearly not from God, we may take ourselves out of opportunities that God has set up for us.

You know that class that was just a “requirement” for graduation that we were so desperately trying to get through just to be done with it? Well in our attempts just to finish the work and let the semester bring an end to a class that we thought we shouldn't have to take in the first place, there may have been a person in that class that God may have wanted us to reach. Or, perhaps there was a lesson that God wanted for us to learn in the midst of what looked like to us as an “unnecessary waste of time,” and because we were being a “Ms. Debbie Downer,” we were so focused on ourselves that we missed it completely.

When we chose to focus on ourselves and the so called “terrible” situations that we are in, we tend not to demonstrate Godly character or for that matter see what God is doing in the midst of our “unfortunate” situation.

In Ephesians chapter four verses one and two, it reads,

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (New International Version. Eph. 4.1-2).

This verse tells us that we should be worthy of the calling that we have received because of God’s unfailing grace, but many times we don’t act according to the many blessing that God has given us.

As a result, instead of looking at the entirety of the scripture, “we” tend to target certain portions that “we” want to focus on, and in “our” misguided intentions, we may take the word a bit out of context. You know. Like we may do with opportunities and situations we are in.

Because of this, we may want to nitpick some parts of scripture and manipulate it to our liking. Perhaps even taking the word “prisoner” in the wrong context.

A prisoner has few to zero choices, because they are a prisoner, but when we act out according to how we feel according to what the world or the day throws at us, not only are we demonstrating our free will, but we are exerting it so strongly in the wrong way, that it brings us the furthest away from God and his will.

Our goal to complete something is fine, but our intentions and attitudes to how we do it may not be. The same could be said about how I've been reading and writing lately. My focus should not be on the end result, but on the process that it takes me to get there.

I believe Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best, when he said “Life is a journey, not a destination.”

As Christians our destination should be heaven, but before we get there, this life, is a continual journey and a process.

Many times when I read a book, I think about getting to the end of a chapter, or the end the book, because I can’t wait to be done with the reading. But it’s in the middle of the actual reading that I experience the most development and growth.

When we push ourselves just to reach the end, not only are we forfeiting the growing and learning process, but we are cheating ourselves from getting the most out of something.

The verse above says “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

In other words, when we are doing something or are in a place where we wish we could be moved out of, we should remember that we are never anywhere by mistake, nor should we act is if we were.

If we would have been patient, humble and eager to demonstrate God's love to those God may have wanted us to reach in the classroom, amongst the copious other situations that God places us in, perhaps we could have been a blessing to those around us, instead of a hindrance and bad example.

Though the journey and process fall in the middle of the beginning and end of things, and is very crucial to growth, there is one middle that we should desperately try to avoid.

Allow me to clarify this.

Many times in our lives, we are posed with a simple decision to make. Either try or don’t, but there are many of us that fall in a very unique category known as the “or.”

Let me explain.

We don’t want to commit completely to something because, you know, it would require work or we may be “too” busy, but at the same time we don’t want to appear as a quitter or possibly a jerk if someone asks for our help. As a result we fall in an in-between, located somewhere in the middle known as the “or.”

The “or” is not a nice place. The “or” is the place where many people believe they are safe, because if they succeed, then they accomplished something without even trying, but if they fail, well, they didn't try that hard to begin with anyway.

They may also “feel” that it’s a safe place because in the “or” since one is not trying, they experience little to no stress. How nice right?

No. It is not a nice place and it is not a safe place.

For one, the outcome is always uncertain, because we are leaving things to chance rather than in the assurance of God. Second the “or” lies to us into believing that we are saving ourselves from stress when in reality we are cheating ourselves from an opportunity to not only succeed, but to show God’s glory in those situations.

In the book of Revelation, chapter three verses fourteen through sixteen reads,

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth (New International Version. Rev. 3.14-16).

If God would have made this anymore discreet, the bible would have been a pop-up-book.

When we opt for the “or” not only do we become complacent in our belief of what we think is safe or easy, but we chose our will over God’s. God loathes those that seek personal comfort over doing his will, but more often than not, we chose ourselves instead of God and in turn others as well.

Are our intentions on trying our best in order to be a blessing to others and in turn show the sovereignty of God? Or, are our intentions focused on trying to remain somewhere in the middle between our fears, stresses and complacency?

Colossians chapter three verses twenty-three and twenty-four reads,

“23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (New International Version. Col. 3.23-24).

In other words, whatever we do, wherever we are, we should work to the best of our ability, and with all our hearts, as if we are doing it for God.

So instead of allowing the stresses that we bring about ourselves because of our misguided motives and the laziness and complacency that occurs when we decide to take a vacation into the “or,” we should remember that there is a purpose for everything. God did not call us to ignore the people that he has called us to reach, nor to do things out of selfish motives.

Instead he says,

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven (New International Version. Matt. 5.14-17).

Climbing Fig Trees

Over the past few days, I’ve been reading a book that I received this past Christmas, and though I’m not very far into it, there was something that really spoke to me today.

In one of the first few chapters it talks about a familiar story that we may have heard about before. Zacchaeus, the Tax Collector. Well as the title suggests, Zacchaeus was a tax collector, and during this time, tax collectors were not the most popular people, though he was pretty famous. Scratch that, he was actually rather infamous.

You see Zacchaeus was not just any old Tax collector. He was the chief tax collector. With his position, Zacchaeus had the authority of the Roman government to not only collect taxes from citizens in the district, but also to collect more than he should have.

As a result, tax collectors, especially Zacchaeus, were despised and viewed with much animosity by the people he “received” money from.

When I first read this description of Zacchaeus in Luke Chapter ten, I did not like him at all. In fact, I pretty much felt the same way that the citizens that were subject to paying those unfair and outlandish taxes felt like. He was a rich crook that preyed on those that already had little to begin with simply to make himself “richer.” He cared more about his shallow feelings of superiority and wealth, than those suffering at his hands.

At least that’s what I felt like at first.

Could you imagine what Zacchaeus must have felt? How he must have felt when he was constantly being made fun of and ridiculed? How about continually having to hear people mutter beneath their breaths when he walked by? Or, how about knowing that every single person in town knew exactly who he was, and hated him because of it?

Whatever ill feelings I had for him quickly evaporated, and I instantly felt sorry for him. I mean, it does not clearly say it in the scripture, but it says that he was “Chief Tax Collector” which means in order for him to have gained that position, he would have to have been a normal tax collector for a very long time. I’ll leave it up to your imagination to determine how many years he had been involved in this field of work.

So for a solid portion of his life all he knew was hatred from other people, which probably generated hatred on his behalf when it came to collecting taxes.

You know I wondered. If in all the hurtful things that people said to him and in all the pain and rejection that he must have felt, did anyone ever tell him about Jesus? It’s a solid question to be sure, but if people disliked him that much, I doubt it.

I like to imagine that while he walked the streets to collect money from the people, he would hear the name of Jesus and about the wonderful things that he was doing, and how he redeemed and changed people.

Wow.

Imagine Jesus actually coming to the town where Zacchaeus lived? Just the glimpse of this man would have been enough for him. But that would never happen. After all, he was just a tax collector.

In Luke Chapter nineteen verses one and two read,

“19 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy” (New International Version. Lk.19.1-2).

Well that escalated quickly.

Not only did the man that Zacchaeus constantly heard about was making his way through Jericho, but he was close enough to see him!

Well almost.

You see, though Zacchaeus made sure he was never short changed when dealing with financial matters, his height was a different story.

This scripture continues in Luke Chapter nineteen verses three and four when it reads,

3 He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. 4 so he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way” (New International Version. Lk.19.3-4).

Okay, get this picture.

Imagine the very same man that Zacchaeus constantly heard people talking about, for some miraculous reason was not only walking through his town, but was being surrounded by a huge crowd near him. This had to be too good to be true.

Fortunately for him, it was not.

What was unfortunate however, was the fact that he could not see Jesus behind the towering people in front of him. But Zacchaeus was not going to allow something like his own height get in his way from seeing the man that he heard so much about.

Shortly after finding out that he was not tall enough to see over crowd (no pun intended), he looked around and saw a Sycamore tree close by. So he decided to climb the tree and waited until Jesus came into view.

In Luke Chapter nineteen verses five and six read,

“5 When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly” (New International Version. Lk.19.5-6).

How do you think Zacchaeus felt then? A man that had become accustomed to being ignored and not even acknowledged by the people around; that only experienced animosity from the people that he would see on a regular basis; and feeling as if everyone wished that he had never existed, was being called by name, and given the title of host for the evening.

Now many people that do not know about the culture back then would say, “Wow. Jesus invited himself over for dinner? I never thought that he would be one to impose something like that.” And I was one of them, but what Jesus did for Zacchaeus by doing this, was much more than he had ever hoped to receive.

Back then, in the Jewish culture, when one would eat with another, it meant that they identified with that person, it meant that they were friends.

On top of that, giving Zacchaeus host like responsibilities meant that Jesus was putting himself in Zacchaeus hands. In other words the host being the host could have treated Jesus however he wanted or done whatever he wanted. What stands out to me from all this, was that Jesus trusted Zacchaeus with his life and as a result, Zacchaeus’ own life was transformed completely.

Jesus walked right up to Zacchaeus, called him by name, and did him the honor of inviting himself over Zacchaeus’s home for dinner.

For Zacchaeus, this had to have meant the world to him.

He finally had some one look at him. Not with eyes of anger or fear, but eyes that cared for him, eyes to tell him that he is loved. The eyes of a friend. As a result he dropped down the tree as quickly as possible and ushered Jesus to his home.

In Luke Chapter nineteen verses seven and eight read,

“7 All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” 8 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount” (New International Version. Lk.19.7-8).

Apparently this caused a bit of confusion amongst the rest of the towns people. “Zacchaeus? Out of all the people him? The worst fruit on the tree! Why would Jesus want to spend time with him?”

Though the many people were puzzled with what Jesus had done, this was exactly what he had planned even before he had arrived to Jericho.

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved” (New King James Version. Jn.3.17).

This scripture states that God came to save the world, meaning everyone, even those that are rejected by this world.

Finally, Luke Chapter nineteen verses nine and ten read,

“9 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (New International Version. Lk.19.9-10).

These two verses embody the exact reason why Jesus came down to this earth.

To bring salvation.

And to seek and save the lost.

In this story of Zacchaeus the tax collector, not only did Jesus seek Zacchaeus and find him in a Sycamore Fig tree, but through friendship, and showing genuine kindness and concern for him, he brought salvation to him as well.

Literally. Jesus is Salvation.

Even when Zacchaeus may not have believed that he could receive those things based on what he heard said to him, God proved him and everyone else wrong.

For even when the world, or even ourselves, may think that we are the most rotten, spoiled, discolored, misshapen, bruised, worm ridden fruit on the tree, God sees us a different way.

In Zechariah Chapter two verse eight, it reads,

“8 For this is what the Lord Almighty says: “After the Glorious One has sent me against the nations that have plundered you—for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye” (New International Version. Zec.2.8).

When God declares “that we are the apple of his eye,” he is saying that out of all the apples on the tree, we are the one that he desires the most. He sees us. The us that this world chooses to ignore. The us that God chooses to redeem and restore.

So, if anything could be learned from the story of Zacchaeus the Tax Collector, it would be that in order to see things from God’s perspective, sometimes we have to leave the crowds that keep us from seeing him, and find a place where we can.

Even if it is in a Fig tree.

Praying for Rain

Happy twenty fifteen! Wow. Honestly, I feel that every year comes and goes quicker and quicker. It must be an aging thing. Anyway, I hope that you all had a very blessed new years and that you spent it with people that you love.

Well today, though I went to bed near the proximity of four am due to “new year’s” “festivities,” I decided to nonetheless wake up at a very early hour to spend time with my wonderful God.

What would result from just starting, what I thought, was a little prayer of thanks, that I did not expect to last more than a few minutes, became an amazing time of seeking and pursuing and yearning for more of God.

It was during this long and blessed time with my Father, that he placed the book of first Kings on my heart.

Just to digress for a moment, now that I think about it, when I spend time with God and he places a certain book of the bible or a certain scripture on my heart, I like to imagine Jesus walking around a huge library while I patiently wait on a circular rug. Perhaps a red rug. Yes, a red rug seems nice. He carefully skims the columns of books on the shelves, and sometimes he even goes unto the huge ladder attached to the massive shelves in order to reach the books at the very top that nearly reach the ceiling. When he finds the exact book that he has been looking for, he makes his way towards me, cracks the book open, and begins to read me the story.

This is how I feel when I pray to God. I wait and I patiently pray until God finds the right book of the bible or the right scripture or the right lesson that he wants to read/teach me about and then he gives it to me. Sometimes it takes a while for him to find the book, but when he finds, the story or the lesson or the teaching, the time spent with him is always worth the wait. Which is pretty ironic actually, because that’s kind of what I read about in first Kings today.

My main focus in this book, were chapters seventeen and eighteen. Even while I write this, I just think about how good God is for sending this book to me via the Holy Spirit. Even more so to specifically start at chapter seventeen. I thought that I was just selecting a random chapter to start at but the Holy Spirit knew exactly where he was taking me.

What I personally received from these two chapters, was the incredible commitment to God that Elijah had, specifically when it came to prayer.

Now, before getting into Elijah and his incredible commitment to God via prayer, just for some background information and to summarize it as briefly as possible, Elijah came to this woman’s home because God told him that the woman would be able to provide him with food and water during the drought. Even though she said she did not have any food just “a handful of flour in a jar” and “a little oil in a jug,” it was nowhere near enough to feed Elijah herself and her son. Elijah told her that that the flour and the oil would not run out until God brings the rain. And so it was, the flour and the oil did not run out and they were able to eat every day.

In first Kings Chapter seventeen verses seventeen through twenty-four, it reads,

“17 Sometime later the son of the woman who owned the house became ill. He grew worse and worse, and finally stopped breathing. 18 She said to Elijah, ‘What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?’

19 ‘Give me your son,’ Elijah replied. He took him from her arms, carried him to the upper room where he was staying, and laid him on his bed. 20 Then he cried out to the Lord, ‘Lord my God, have you brought tragedy even on this widow I am staying with, by causing her son to die?’ 21 Then he stretched himself out on the boy three times and cried out to the Lord, ‘Lord my God, let this boy’s life return to him!’

22 The Lord heard Elijah’s cry, and the boy’s life returned to him, and he lived. 23 Elijah picked up the child and carried him down from the room into the house. He gave him to his mother and said, ‘Look, your son is alive!’24 Then the woman said to Elijah, ‘Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the Lord from your mouth is the truth’ (New International Version. 1Ki.17.17-24).

Elijah doesn’t say “this wasn’t my God!” or “how is this my fault?” Instead he takes the boy to the “upper room” and begins to pray. Now, it does not say how long Elijah was up there praying, but he went up there with complete faith and determination that God was going to bring the woman's son back to life. No matter how long it would take Elijah to pray to God to raise this boy back from the dead, he was going to stay in God's presence until it did.

How many of us can say that we pray until God speaks to us or until God moves? Personally for me I find it very difficult to remain in prayer, especially if I feel God is not moving or speaking to me, but it’s when we endure past those feelings that God sees our faithfulness and our determination and out of his grace, he blesses us.

It’s just like the library illustration.

God is trying to choose which way to bless us the best. Yet many times, we get “so” “tired” of waiting for God to pick out a “story” that we go out and try to find or make our own.

In first Kings Chapter eighteen verses forty-one through forty-six reads,

“41 And Elijah said to Ahab, ‘Go, eat and drink, for there is the sound of a heavy rain.’ 42 So Ahab went off to eat and drink, but Elijah climbed to the top of Carmel, bent down to the ground and put his face between his knees.

43 “Go and look toward the sea,” he told his servant. And he went up and looked.

‘There is nothing there,’ he said.

Seven times Elijah said, ‘Go back.’

44 The seventh time the servant reported, ‘A cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea.’

So Elijah said, “Go and tell Ahab, ‘Hitch up your chariot and go down before the rain stops you.’”

45 Meanwhile, the sky grew black with clouds, the wind rose, a heavy rain started falling and Ahab rode off to Jezreel. 46 The power of the Lord came on Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel” (New International Version. 1Ki.18.41-46).

There is so much in this portion of scripture.

For one, Elijah had a tremendous amount of faith. He told Ahab to go eat and drink because it was about to rain, but in the next few portions of scripture one could clearly see by the many times that Elijah sent his servant to check if he saw anything, there was not a cloud in the sky.

Despite what human eyes could see Elijah continued to pray and he sent his servant to go check a total of seven times.

Seven.

The number seven has very important significance in the bible. The number seven symbolizes something complete or full. In this portion of scripture Elijah demonstrated and understood the power of complete and persistent intercession when he prayed without ceasing on behalf of the land and the people that were suffering because of lack of water.  

On the seventh time that Elijah sent his servant to check, toward the sea something amazing happened. The servant said, “A cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea.” Well yeah a cloud the size of a human hand may not have been much, but it was a start, and more than that, it symbolized something even greater.

The hand could mean various things, but I like to believe that the cloud that was in the shape of a hand was the hand of God. And, not only was he bringing the rain that he promised Elijah, but he was bringing something else that the people of the land desperately needed.

In scripture, the pouring of rain symbolizes God’s outpouring of his spirit. When we pray and seek God, not only do we find him, but if wait on him long enough for him to speak to us, he pours out his spirit on us as well; just like Elijah when he prayed for the woman’s son, and when he prayed for rain.

Today when I prayed, I did not intend to pray for long, and in all honestly I did not know what to expect, but I did find God and the “story” that he had for me. As a result of just continually praying and seeking I not only found him, but he blessed me with the wonderful gift of his word, and the opportunity to be able to write this post for you.

So with this New Year, I just want to challenge you. If you earnestly want to see a difference in your relationship with God, and you really want to draw closer to him, seek him.

Commit to him.

Wait on him.

Even when you feel like you are not getting anything, sit on that red circular rug and trust and know that the same way that God came to Elijah, every time without fail, he will come to you.

“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

   they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

   they shall walk and not faint”

(English Standard Version. Isa. 40.31).

Faith, Love and Action

Today, during my morning time with Jesus, I was eager to dive into his word and to learn more about what his plans are for me, but like many times I did not know where in the bible I should begin reading.

As a result, instead of playing bible roulette, I did something that I'm trying to make more of a habit of. Ask God what he wanted to speak to me today.

So while I played worship music and waited on God, he placed the book of James on my heart.

Just the day before, during some much needed fellowship and bible study with the guys, the book of James briefly came up, primarily James 1:17. It reads,

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights who does not change like shifting shadows" (New International Version. Jas. 1.17).

Ironically the verse that talks about the perfect gifts of God led me to receive another gift from God which was some deeper reading into the book of James.

Talk about the gift that keeps on giving huh?

Though I only read the first two chapters, there was a lot of stuff in there.

One of the many things that stand out to me is James chapter one verse two and three, when it reads,

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance" (New International Version. Jas. 1.2-3).

What James is saying with this verse, is that our faith can only grow and mature, when we are faced with trials of opposition and moments of difficulty. This is when our faith is put to the test.

Although, when we become complacent and laid back in our relationship with God, not only do we become more susceptible to temptation than we would if we were constantly and faithfully pursuing God, but we fail to grow and mature in Christ.

If every good and perfect gift comes from the Father, how can we expect to be at our best without the good and perfect gifts that he gives us when we pursue him and spend time with him?

The second portion of Scripture that stands out to me is James chapter two verse one through five. It reads,

“My brothers and sisters, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ don’t show favoritism.

2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

5 Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?” (New International Version. Jas. 2.1-5.).

We do this many times without even realizing it.

At church, when that new group of people walk in, and because they may appear approachable or safe to talk to, we gladly greet them and embrace them and may even befriend them. We may even introduce them to Christ and as result, because of God's grace, they could be saved.

But how about that one person that has been going to church for three weeks, yet no one has greeted them yet? How about the person that has been going to church for four months, and is hurting inside, so much so that they are too afraid to approach anyone because of their own insecurities?

It's easy to stay in the bubble of our comfort zones. But in our comfort zones we do not grow, and in the so called "solace" of our self made bubbles we could prevent ourselves from reaching people that could be deeply wanting to speak to someone yet the hurt that they are experiencing is so great, that it could prevent them from doing so.

Many times we value certain people more than others based on their appearance or what they have and ignore others that may not be as fortunate.

In other words we play favorites.

God did not play favorites. He loved those that were rich and he loved those that were poor.

First Samuel chapter sixteen verse seven reads,

7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (New International Version. 1Sa. 13.7).

For God looks not at what we show or portray on the outside, but by the content and condition of our hearts.

The final thing that stood out to me from the portion of Scripture that I read, is James Chapter two verses fourteen through seventeen. It reads,

"14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead” (New International Version. Jas. 2.14-17).

Yep. This was the one that hit me the hardest.

How many times have we had someone come up to us and say "man I'm going going through a tough time, or "it's too much, I can't take it anymore"," amongst other statements of this variety showing that someone is definitely hurting?

An even better question should be, how many times have we noticed that this may have been a divine appointment from God?

Sometimes we are are so caught up in ourselves and being comfortable, that we may ignore someone that is in desperate need of what we have and can freely share.

The Love of Christ.

Personally for me, I was one of these types of people, and sometimes, because of my own insecurities or fears I still am.

Faith is demonstrated by action. One could say a million and a half things to a person that may be hurting, but don’t you think it would make them feel much better if someone actually did something to help change their situation rather than just wishing them luck?

Yes we may be fearful and yes we may be anxious, but none of those things are from God.

Philippians chapter four verse six reads,

“6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (New International Version. Php. 4.6).

Though anxiety is not from Christ, sometimes God allows anxiety, but solely for the purpose to bring us back to him. Anxiety tells us that we are relying on ourselves, and points us back to the one were are supposed to rely on. Yes anxiety makes us feel uncomfortable, but so does pain. Pain is not a bad thing. Pain is used in order to tell us that something is wrong. Pain tells the body that there is an issue that needs to be resolved before it becomes worse. Anxiety is the same way.

Before we make a situation worse by relying on ourselves, we best go back to Christ and faithfully allow him to work in us, so that we may act in accordance to his will. When we realize this it becomes much easier to rely on Christ and as a result move in faith, especially when someone is hurting and in need of him.

So today God really had a lot in store for me and I didn’t even know it, but that’s the best part isn’t it? When we follow after God we are never disappointed and we are never left empty.

It’s when we seek him that not only do we find him, but he does in us more than we ever imagined.

“But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul” (New International Version. Dt. 4.29).

“20-21 God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us” (The Message. Eph. 3.20-21).

Others or Ourselves

Okay. So earlier this week I had the absolute pleasure of participating in a live Nativity set for my church’s youth Christmas party. The youth room was set up in a restaurant style form, and the kids sat back and enjoyed dinner while they learned about the Nativity. It was presented in a way that was humorous, while still showing them what the Nativity is and what it symbolizes. They laughed and had a great time and I was so very blessed to be part of it.

I did not feel this way entirely though.

I mean it was wonderful and everyone, including me, had a lot fun, but before actually dramatizing my portion in the Nativity, it was the complete opposite.

The few days leading up to this wonderful Christmas party, I was absolutely dreading performing in this drama. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to do it for the youth, I love them, and I wanted them to enjoy something that they could definitely learn from. The reason that I did not want to be part of the drama was because acting in front of a group of people makes me pretty nervous. Actually, being in front of people in general makes me pretty nervous. Add anxiety to the mix and there are definitely going to be a lot of thoughts and doubts going through my mind.

Fortunately, just as it was for the Panama missions trip that I had the honor and the blessing of being part of this past year, after actually doing the drama, I was overjoyed by the fact that I did not let the fears and the doubts I imposed on myself affect something that was used to impact the lives of so many.

Yes, “afterward” it was amazing. During the process however, that was not the case. All I could think about was how I could get out of that situation. So much so that even during the run through, when I was going through my lines and finding out how little I actually knew, I was contemplating on how I could get out of that uncomfortable situation.

See, sometimes we are placed in certain situations for a specific reason, but because of our thoughts surrounded by self-doubt, fear and anxiety, they may cause us to try and control those God given situations.

It was because I was nervous and unprepared (mostly because of my own doing) that I wanted to remove myself from a place that God had called me to be. The whole time I wasn't thinking about how the situation I was in could bless another, but how it was affecting me and how it made me feel.

I had become so accustomed to running away due to feelings of fear, stress and anxiety;that I almost ran away from an opportunity to share about the birth of Christ; even if it was only for brief moment.

What came to mind as a result of this event was what I had heard a little over a week ago. I had listened to a sermon by Steven Furtick, and though he said many profound things throughout his preaching, there was one particular thing that he said that stood out to me.

“Greed always finds an excuse, generosity always finds a way.”

Just let that sink in for a moment.

What he meant by this was that many times we make decisions based on how they can benefit us instead of us trying to help out another. Or, when some situations cause us to feel uncomfortable, we decide to take the “easy” way out and decline to help someone in need.

“No I’m sorry, I have that thing…yeah the same thing that I always say when you ask me for help… yeah that. Sorry, maybe next time.”

The more one says no, the more those “next times” diminish away until they just stop coming at all.

Being men and women of God we should stop trying to control certain God given moments in order to seek comfort, and instead seek to be generous. Generosity doesn't mean saying yes to every single opportunity that comes to you, but if you are able, you should be willing. It is when we are demonstrating generosity that were are not only being faithful to Christ, but we are being more Christ-like.

Shortly after the Christmas party came to a conclusion, my amazing pastor blessed me, as well as several others, with the wonderful invitation of a spontaneous movie night at his house.

How does this tie in with us taking control of situations in our lives?

Well the first movie that we watched was “The Giver” and that film is simply amazing and very impactful, especially when looking at it from a different lens. Just to give a brief summary of the movie, so yes spoilers, the movie takes place in a totalitarian society in which every aspect of each person’s individual life is controlled, monitored, and censored. Their spouses, their jobs, and even the clothes that they wear are all strategically selected in order for the town to be able to maintain their idea of “sameness.” This society is also devoid of all feelings, color, music and many things that we may take for granted in our lives.

The choices of the citizens of this society were taken from them. They were being manipulated by the elders of the town, because the elders felt if they gave the citizens the freedom to make their own choices that they would chose the wrong ones every time. But that was not a choice for any of the leaders to make on the behalf of others. If the leaders wanted to impose those rules on themselves, that is their choice, but removing the choices of an entire society and causing them to be oblivious to anything and everything else that is out there goes far beyond anything that could be considered humane or fair.

What the elders were trying to do was play God. They were anxious, fearful, doubtful, and stressed about what could happen because of what had happen, and as a result, they tried to control something that was never meant to be controlled. They were uncomfortable about their situations, and instead of being generous, they opted for greed.

Greed only ever benefits one person, or at least it seems that way. The person making the choice to become greedy deceives themselves into believing that they are helping themselves by not doing something that makes them uncomfortable, but they are really robbing themselves of blessing someone else, and in turn themselves.

In the movie the elders robbed themselves of the opportunity of having a better society than not only of those of the past, but of the one in the present. Unfortunately, because they felt safe in the choices that they believed that they could control, they were just hurting themselves, lying to an entire community that trusted them, and prevented people from living life the way that it was natural meant to be lived.

Fortunately, there are protagonists for these types of situations.

The main character in the movie, Jonas, the receiver of memory, was not consumed by the greed that had dominated his elders and in turn the community. Though he had been under the control of the leaders his entire life, after he began receiving memories from the Giver (The previous receiver of memory), he had the knowledge and the memories that no one else had. Through those memories, he experienced what color was, and music, love and death. As a result he decided that he wasn't going to stop until everyone in the town knew the truth about everything that was being withheld from them, even if it cost him his life.

Jonas could have become complacent and greedy to try and control the climate inside of him, because of the uncertainty of his plans, but instead he decided to be generous and selfless and gave up everything that he knew was safe in order to bring the truth to the people he cared so much for.

Sound familiar?

John chapter three verses sixteen and seventeen read,

“16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (New International Version. Jn. 3.16-17).

God gave up everything. His one son, his one and perfect son, in order for humanity to be saved. He counted the cost, and he knew the immense amount of hardship that his son would endure in his life, but because God’s society was suffering so greatly and indulging in things that that they knew not the harmful effects of, he had to act.

It was because God’s insurmountable love, that he generously and freely gave his son in order to save us. He found a way in which no other could have. The love from God is not controlled or swayed, it is freely given out of love.

And this was just the first movie.

As if the first movie wasn't a blessing enough, my Pastor decided to put on another film that I had never seen before, “Jurassic Park.”

Like “The Giver,” “Jurassic Park” had a character that also tried to play the role of God, and just like in “The Giver” it did not end well for those trying to supersede him. Again, just to summarize the movie, so yes more spoilers, “Jurassic Park” for the most part, takes place on an island in Central America. One of the main antagonists, an older gentleman by the name of John Hammond, found a way to create dinosaurs from ancient dinosaur DNA that was recently discovered. Though many would consider this is an amazing feat, and perhaps it was, Hammond’s reasons for bringing back these ancient creatures was not for anyone else’s benefit other than his own.

For one, even though he found a way to create dinosaurs, instead of reaching out to scientists in order to contribute to further research of these ancient animals, he kept the secret all to himself. That is until he himself needed something. When he thought that his park might not open because of I don’t know, it not being safe for people, he reached out to a small group of scientists, to persuade them into believing that the park was completely safe so that he could get their word to back him up. He even invited his own grandchildren to the park to prove how “safe” it was for the children.

What he was doing was being selfish and manipulative.

His own selfishness and greed had even influenced those around him in that very same attitude. Dennis Nedry, the man responsible for taking down the security in the park, thus releasing the dinosaurs, acted out of greed by trying to sell the dinosaur DNA to another for a profit. Ultimately this did not end well for him or for several others, but this does prove a point.

Everything we do affects someone or something. Cause and effect.

In the case of “Jurassic Park” Hammond’s poor decisions lead to others making equally poor decisions, which ultimately ended up costing them more than just some money or fame. Had Hammond demonstrated an attitude of generosity and become an example to his peers, this entire situation could have been averted.

His greed to open an amusement park, which was rejected because of the lack of safety of the park, led him to want to control the situation. His greed was so severe in fact, that it led him to invite his own grandchildren in order to prove that the park was safe, when obviously it was not. His selfishness had put the lives of his own family at risk, just for a chance of getting what he "thought" he wanted. As a result, the park failed, and myriads of dangerous not so extinct dinosaurs escaped.Because of this they killed several lesser characters in the film and nearly killed the protagonists and those close to them as well.

On top of that, Hammond was manipulating nature, and taking on a role that was never meant for him to adopt. He was trying to bring to life what God declared as dead millions of years ago.

How many times in our lives do we try to control certain situations in our favor or bring things back to life after God declared them as dead for our own good?

Like Hammond sometimes we forget two very important things.

One that certain things are removed from our lives for a reason and should remain that way unless God says otherwise. And two, sometimes we forget the positions that we’re given, and seek to either reject the responsibilities of the position we are given, or try to excel to a higher one that was never meant for us to occupy.

Had Hammond opted for generosity and listened and stopped trying to pursue what he was told not to, there would have been no dinosaurs, and there would have been several more characters that would have still been alive by the time the credits hit the screen.

Ultimately, though it may be easier to submit to our various feelings of doubt and inadequacy that so often bring excuses, it is always worth so much more to be generous; for the sake of others and ourselves.

For when we opt for generosity, we are demonstrating not greed or offering excuses, but we are demonstrating and offering something that this world seems to lack.

Love.

Whenever I’m dealing with issues of stress and anxiety amongst other feelings trying to influence me to make poor decisions that I think will benefit me, but really benefits no one at all, I like to think about a specific scripture in the bible.

In Matthew chapter twenty-five verses thirty-five through forty, it reads,

35 for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; 36 I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? 38 When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? 39 Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, in as much as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to Me’” (New King James Version. Matt. 25.35-40).

Or in the words of Victor Hugo, “To love another person is to see the face of God.” - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables