This number may not mean much to you guys, but it certainly signifies a very long and trying journey for me.
Today I drove to the testing center to take my praxis test in order to earn my teacher's license and proceed to the student teaching aspect of my education in the fall and hopefully graduate with with my bachelor's degree God willing in December. Although this sounds great, there is much more to it than that.
Today is not the first time I take this test.
Today isn't even the second or the third or the fourth time I take it.
Today officially counts as the fifth time that I have to take this grueling test. The very same test that prevented me from graduating this past spring. The very same test that I would prefer, if I had the option to, to burn and toast a delicious snack over.
I had ultimately thought, after failing this test four times, that perhaps teaching is not for me or that God didn't plan for me to be a teacher, and perhaps that may be true, but the plan that God has for my life is so much greater than any small shallow plan I could ever have for myself.
Although I didn't graduate this past spring with my teaching degree, I had the opportunity to study the bible in depth. I was able to focus more on my youth group at church. I was able to focus on ministry and family and me. I had time to pray. Most importantly I was able to grow in Christ and remove what I ultimately wanted, which I thought was to become a teacher to over shadow what God wanted for me.
Because of all the free time on my hands, that wouldn't be there if I had passed my test and gone into student teaching, I had the opportunity to spend time with my old youth Pastor and mentor and friend, following him to conferences and places where he was speaking and glean from him. And when it was time to move to where God had called him to go, I not only had the opportunity to help him pack but I had the opportunity to go with him to that new place and help him move into a house that I had the privilege of praying for since he announced he was leaving.
During those four failures at taking this test, though my plan was at success in order to go through my own plan, God decided to use my "failure" for greater things.
These last few months not only made me a better servant or a man of God, but God refocused me on Him. He recondition my heart to want Him first.
So as I walked into this test center today, I walked in faith knowing that whatever happens, good or bad, in my eyes or the eyes of others, that God's will is ultimately going to get done.
After the grueling stress of the test and having to stare at the screen for two hours it was done.
It was finished.
And as I prepared to get up from my seat and head out the door I saw my score on the screen.
171.
The minimum score in order to pass the test is 167.
Not only did I pass, but God gave me four extra points.
And so, as of today, June 24th 2015, I, thanks to Jesus Christ, have passed my test and am on pace to graduate in the fall.
I want to conclude with this.
What may first appear as failure in human's hands is an opportunity in God's.
In our hands we destroy and disfigure and maim and displace our future, but in God's hands, He restores, he heals, he loves and he gives us a future far beyond what we ever thought possible for ourselves.
A future with him.
The one that will never leave us nor forsake us.
Thank you to everyone, friends, family and peers for believing in me and encouraging me and most importantly for pointing me to Christ. I love you all greatly.
And so, no matter how difficult or impossible, no matter how many times you fail or who's standing against you, in the words of Steven Furtick and to all my friends that quote him "Don't stop on six."
UPDATE: 6/24/2016
This was written exactly one year ago today, and since then, a lot has happen. First, not only did I have the opportunity to participate in student teaching, but I was blessed enough to teach alongside phenomenal teachers and even more incredible students. I was recommended for student teacher of the year and I completed my final semester of college and received my bachelor's degree in December. In January I moved out to Denver Colorado to become a missionary assistant and as of today, not only am I serving under the very leaders that I gleaned from and helped move, but I also get to join them on this journey. Lastly, although, because of my failures, I didn’t think I would ever be a teacher, as of May 2016, I was officially hired as a 7th grade English Language arts teacher.
Looking back a little over one year ago, I never saw myself being where I am serving to the capacity that I'm serving in or being a teacher, but when following the Lord, you never really know where He’ll take you.
To conclude, when chasing after the Lord, it may be unpredictable and even a little scary, but not once has following Christ ever resulted in His promises being unfulfilled.
If you chase after anything, chase after the Lord, and if you strive to accomplish anything thing, do it with excellence for Him. It is when we step out in faith, that the Lord can do the impossible in us and through us; and when He can do those things with us, we can bring Him glory.
God Bless everyone!
