Then and Now

So at the very beginning of this semester, one of my professors had told the class about a story about a woman that had tried for a very long time to be a published author. This woman submitted her work to various publishers, but none of them wanted to take a chance with her. She continued this for a long time, but still to no avail. What stood out about this woman, was that she did not quit. She continued to pursue her dreams, and because of her persistence, someone finally took a look at her work, and more than that, they decided to publish it. My professor continued by saying that the woman said that being published was one of the best feelings ever. Why I’m I writing about this? Well my professor proceeded by saying that she hopes that everyone in the class would get published someday. That “someday” she said would be by the end of the current semester. She told us that we would all be writing about a certain topic of our choosing and that she was going to compile all of our writings and put them in a book to get published. The topic of the book is about relationships and God really placed in my heart to speak about the lessons I have learned about the relationships in my life.  So today, as I write this paragraph of exposition, I would like to show you my writing that will be published in the coming weeks. I would like to thank God for giving me this opportunity to not only accomplish being published, but giving me the chance to write about him, and what he has done in my life.

"Over the course of the unpredictable adventure that is life, there are numerous events and experiences that we as human beings have the blessing or the misfortune of facing. From celebrations to humiliations, these moments in our lives may cause us not only to deal with these situations but similar ones in the future. Though the experiences we may have are very crucial, what is even more significant are the types of people that we allow to go through those experiences with us. Whether those people or friends were positive or negative influences, they all had the opportunity to leave a mark on our lives. As we walk down the very laborious path that comes with existing in this world, we have the ability to form close-knit bonds with others. Those bonds or relationships are what strengthen us with encouragement and reassurance while also having the ability to diminish us with malice, jealousy and animosity. As a result, these experiences may cause many of us to either embrace relationships or cause us to run away from them altogether. In my life, there have been many bonds that have been forged and just as many that have been severed, but despite the capricious emotions and thoughts involved in all of these relationships, I have learned many lessons along the way.

           

One of the first lessons that I have learned pertaining to relationships, is that not all people fully appreciate their friends. A wise man once wrote, “The value of a true friend is worth more than a thousand diamonds” (unknown). Though these words may sound a bit cliché that does not mean that it diminishes how true this statement is. As much as I would like to say that all the relationships I was a part of were perfect, that was definitely not the case. As a child, even though I did indeed have marvelous friends of which I still share strong bonds with to this day, not all the “friends” I had were really friends. I quickly found that certain individuals that I may have had the “pleasure” of getting acquainted with were only my friends because they sought to acquire something I had or only enjoyed spending time with me because of what I may have had.

          

Before proceeding as if I have never done anything like this myself before, I would like to pause for a moment to acknowledge that I have fallen guilty of this as well. Whether it was something as miniscule as wanting to play with a toy one of my friends may have had or seeking to acquire a better social status because of friend’s popularity, I was not the type of friend that I should have been. Experiencing what being a taker is like and being subject to various takers in past relationships has shown me not only what type of friend I would like to be, but also the type of friends I would like to have. We should not go into a relationship of any sort to take something; rather we should go into one to give something. After all, relationships are connections we hope to make with another person because we see the value in that person and the potential of a friendship being formed. If we are in a relationship and our focus is on the value of something that a certain person may have, we are not valuing the person; we are valuing an item that person has. If the basis of a friendship is formed on something as frivolous as what someone has for another to procure, when that specific thing that that person may have is gone, is the relationship gone as well? Relationships should not be based on what we can get from another, but what we can do for another.

           

Another lesson that I have learned pertaining to relationships, is that an individual should tread carefully and be mindful of their emotions before even contemplating any possible relationship with another person.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (New International Version, Pr. 4.23).

Now, though this verse could apply to numerous other aspects of life, it is especially applicable to the topic of relationships. Not only should we be very careful when we are approaching a friendship, but we should be even more cautious when we are contemplating a possible relationship with a person of interest to us. Personally in my life, there have been times that I would go about relationships the wrong way. For me, I would approach a potential relationship with someone of interest, and because I was so, for lack of a better word, infatuated with them, my eyes were blinded and my ears deafened to obvious signs that would have otherwise turned me away. When deciding something as crucial as allowing someone into our lives, we should have a clear mind. If our hearts are filling us full of thoughts and emotions then any rationality that could be used to decipher whether a person has good intentions or not is gone. Equally so, we should not allow ourselves to believe anything and everything a person says just because of the way he or she appears or speaks; after all, like it says in Matthew chapter seven verse fifteen,

“They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves” (New International Version, Mt. 7.15).

Certain individuals may present themselves well and speak the most beautifully articulately and eloquent words ever spoken, but sometimes that may be even worse than someone who is blatant about their intentions. Though there are many people in the world that we should avoid, there are still those who are worth it, but the only way to truly know if they are is to tread carefully when getting to know someone and be patient. In my experience I did not take this advice. One of the many unfortunate instances was during my time in high school. Ever liked someone that seemed to have everything, but once you got to know them you realized that the few positives he or she may have had were not enough to overcome all the negatives; and everything appealing about them withered away? Yes? Well so did I, but sadly it was only after I had pursued them without giving the “getting to know the other person” portion enough time. Regrettably for that reason, I was emotionally involved with someone that was not worth the emotion I was dedicating to them and what was even worse was that this turned into a cycle. Time and time again I had fallen into allowing my heart to lead me rather than my mind. As a result not only did I hand over my heart to those who did not care about it, but I sacrificed many things in my life in order to make things easier for others. Relationships should be built over time after knowing, for sure, that the person we are getting acquainted with is truly committed to being part of a relationship, and even then we may not fully know a person completely. Relationships should not be about how quickly we could rush into one, but how much time we take with something that has the potential to last a life time.

The final lesson that I have learned pertaining to relationships is that as much as we may believe that we know what is best for us and whom we should allow into our lives, in a relationship or otherwise, God wants nothing short of the best for our lives. In Jeremiah chapter twenty-nine verse eleven, it reads,

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ’plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'” (New International Version, Jer. 29.11).

The meaning behind this verse is a bit deeper than it may first appear. Many times when a relationship comes to an end, we may be left broken and hurt. As a result of this we may be very quick to blame God for allowing a certain individual that we may have cared so much for to exit our lives, but is our anger and frustration towards God justified? After all God did say he wants to give all of us a hope and a future, but more often than not, we may skip all the positive aspects of this verse in our hurt and just focus on the ”harm you” portion which is taken completely out of context. When God takes someone out of our lives, it is not because he wants to cause us harm, after all that is not who God is, but because he wants the very best for each and every aspect of our lives. He does not want us to settle for whatever may present itself to us, but he wants us to wait patiently on him and allow God to give us not what we deserve, but far beyond what we ever imagined. During the many varied and short lived relationships I had in high school, I was in a desperate place of constant hurt and disappoint that continually lead me to pursue other relationships in order to fill the void in my heart caused by the last one. It was only until I hit rock bottom and realized what I was doing, that God was able to pull me out of the hole I was digging and began repairing the one in my heart. He loved me despite the condition I was in and he loved me despite the things I had done. In my life there have been many disappoints and just as many pains but if I have learned anything in my short twenty-three years, it is that no matter what happens to me in this life, that God is there to catch me when I fall, and to care for me when I’m hurting. What anyone can offer me in any possible relationship cannot surpass what God has for me in a relationship with him. Equally so, God wishes for each and every one of us to be a blessing and a gift to someone else. The only way that this is accomplished is by earnestly seeking God and embracing the plans that he has for each and every one of us. It is when we accomplish this, that we can learn to love others best, because we have learned to love God the most.

            
Overall, though relationships may cause us an overwhelming amount of joy or a vast amount of pain, there are many lessons we can learn from them, but more than that, we have the opportunity to find true connections with others. It is because of those few blessed relationships that we should continue to form new ones. With that being said, we should learn to respect and value our friends, continue to guard our hearts from those who are not worthy of having them, and to pursue a relationship with God, because he will never fail us. It is when we are able to do these things that we could continue to form new relationships and more than that, be the standard by which every person should be in a successful relationship."

Don’t Underestimate a Pawn

Do you ever listen to music while you drive? Well personally I do. To be honest, when traveling to and from various different locations, I predominately get my musical download of songs from listening to them in the car. What I find is that even when I’m not paying attention to the song or the words, is that they have more of a lasting impression on me than I may have initially thought.

Many times later in the day, I find myself singing, whistling, humming, drumming, and any other possible way that reenacts a portion of a specific song that I may have heard. Pretty weird huh? Who would have thought that not intentionally committing something to memory would have even a mild effect on a one’s life?

But it does.

You see, music isn’t the only thing that has the potential to influence someone despite the fact that one may not be focusing on it consciously. Anything from the movie playing in the background when you’re doing your homework to the two people whispering in the corner of the room has the potential to say or do something that may stick to us whether we like it or not.

Now, if something that one doesn’t pay attention to has the potential to affect someone’s life, even to the smallest degree, imagine something that someone purposely tries to practice or memorize or apply to their life.

Whether positive or negative, those things could determine the severity of the outcome that is sure to ensue.

For me, though the outcome resulted in some harmless singing, whistling, humming and drumming, amongst other things, it was something that I wasn’t conscious of until certain situations arose, in which case, what I thought wasn’t even in the game made its way to the surface.

It’s like chess (And I’m only referencing chess because very recently I played a game, and I lost in just four moves. Four. You know who you are). A pawn isn’t the most spectacular piece on the board. A pawn is often overlooked because it can’t do much compared to its fellow chess pieces, like a rook, (castle looking piece) that can move vertically or horizontal the entire length of the board, unless there is a piece in its way; or a bishop, (The one with the chip in it) that like the rook, can move as many spaces as it wants, except it can only move diagonally and has limited movement depending if other pieces are blocking its way as well; or a knight (horse looking piece) that can move uniquely in an L shape of two spaces horizontally and one space vertically or vice versa; or a queen, (Crown looking piece next to the king) that essentially combines the ability of both the rook and the bishop.

But not a pawn.

On its first turn a pawn can move forward one or two spaces, and after that initial move it can only move forward one space at a time. If there is another piece in front of it, it cannot move. It’s stuck there until that piece moves or is removed. In order to eliminate another piece from the game, a pawn has to go and can only kill diagonally one space. So based on this ‘basic’ explanation of chess and about each pieces respective abilities, compared to everything else, pawns are pretty much useless, right?

Oh dear, they are not.

You see, if one doesn’t keep his or her eye on a pawn, and allows it to infiltrate their territory and reach their end of the board, it becomes something much bigger, and much scarier. Unlike the other pieces, the pawn has a special ability. Once a pawn reaches the enemies end of the board successfully, it can then become either a rook, a bishop, a knight, or yes, even a queen.

How could something that seemed so insignificant develop into the obvious dangers that we had tried so hard to avoid?

This is how the enemy works.

The enemy takes on many shapes, and sometimes some of those shapes could be the very things in our lives that seem miniscule enough to overlook. It is when we overlook those things that we actually give sin the opportunity to reach its desired capacity; and once it acquires enough force, the enemy exerts that force in our direction.

The more we allow the pawns in our lives to make their way unto our side of the board, the more we are allowing them to infiltrate our lives which could result in detrimental circumstances.

It is for this reason that we have to constantly be alert in our walk with Christ and make sure that we keep those things in check (see what I did there).

It sort of reminds me of a lion.

A lion that is far away doesn’t seem like much of a threat. But, if we continue to disregard that lion, and allow it to creep up to us until it’s close enough to attack, the consequences could be crippling.

With that being said, I find it perfectly ironic the bible describes the enemy as a lion.

First Peter Chapter five verse eight reads,

“8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (New International Version.1Pe.5.8).

This is satan’s strategy.

The enemy tries to downplay sin, to make it appear as if it is something insignificant that could not impact or harm us. Then the diminutive nothingness that we allowed into our lives gradually and eventually begins to control and consume us and the very thing that we once thought that we had a hold on, now has a hold on us, so strongly in fact that we start to contemplate when the switch was flipped on us in the first place.

Don’t allow the enemy anywhere near you, no matter how far into the background he says that he is. The enemy is a liar and being in the background is still being there no matter how far or how near.

Do not give the enemy a foothold. If there is something that has even the smallest inkling to impact your life in the negative which may have the potential to negatively influence someone else as well, rebuke it, run from it, and seek Jesus.

In Genesis Chapter thirty-nine verses six through twelve read,

So Potiphar left everything he had in Joseph’s care; with Joseph in charge, he did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate. Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he refused. “With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants were inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, ‘Come to bed with me!’ But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house (New International Version. Ge.39.6-12).

Sometimes, like Joseph, though we may be on fire for God and seek for nothing more than to please him and to bring him honor and praise, we permit certain things in our lives that we should have either expelled from or removed ourselves from the equations that seem to have an absolute solution resulting only in our downfall.

The hold that Joseph thought that he had on the situation eventually had a hold on him. That situation, in the form of Potiphar’s wife, had a hold so tightly around his cloak, that when he decided to run he had to leave without it.

We all have the opportunity to leave before things turn for the worse. The moment that we take notice of something that is trying to take us out, is the moment when action should take place. Putting up with something, and pretending that it is going to go away is not the only choice that we have to make. Although Joseph decided to stick around when he should have ran sooner, he did eventually run away.

He wasn’t running because he was afraid, rather he was running in order to Honor Potiphar, his wife and most importantly God.

Though circumstances for Joseph didn’t end in the best way for him right away, he continued to obey God and eventually God placed Joseph, via the Pharaoh, over the land of Egypt.

Now I’m not saying that we are going to be in charge of anything, or receive a promotion like the one Joseph received, but when we run from the enemy and hold on to the promises of God, he will bring those promises into fruition in our lives.

Don’t forfeit the guaranteed promises of the Lord, no matter how long they may take to come true, for the quick empty promises of the enemy.

Instead of hearing certain songs or people, or TV shows or movies or whatever else that is inadvertently feeding us and speaking to us in the negative while they “play” in the background, play things that inspire. Play things that show others Christ in your life. Play things that show the goodness of God and how he is all around is us, ready to embrace us with his love.

When we run from the sin and the temptations of the enemy, not only are we running away from the pitfalls and traps that he has set up for us, but we are running to the one that seeks to guard us from them. To the one that has never stopped and will never stop running after us.

So run. Run to the King.

For without the King the game is Lost. Without the King we are lost. Without the King our lives are lost.

But with the King we are found. With the King we are redeemed, and with the King we are protected and loved.

Chase after the King, because unlike chess where we are supposed to defend the King, this King, the true King, Jesus is always defending us.

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast” (New International Version. Ps.139.7-10)

“The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore” (New International Version Ps.121:7-8).

Stop Leveling and Start Living

Don't you love it when things don't go exactly the way you planned them to? Well for many of us probably not, but for me this morning, though I had a certain agenda, God decided to modify that agenda in order for Him to complete His.

Thank you Jesus.

You see, earlier today, I had the opportunity to speak with a friend, and we had a pretty interesting conversation revolved around a topic where many a time I have indulged myself in since I was about four or five.

Video games.

Video games first captivated my attention as a boy and instilled in me a vast desire to want to leap into myriads of different worlds and embark on copious adventures that would lead me to not only endless amounts of treasures and glory, but to what seemed to be infinite amounts of fun.

As I grew older however, this quickly became a stumbling block.

At one point something that was simply intended to entertain became an investment of not only my time, but of my finances as well.

As a result, not only did my relationships with my family and friends suffer, but the importance of being immersed into virtual reality began to take priority over actual reality.

The amount of money that I freely and willingly poured into these games not only began to diminish the amount of funds I had worked so hard to earn, but I was also funding the very thing that was causing me to waste my time and destroy my relationships in the first place.

I was so focused on gaining levels in a game because it gave me some sort of feeling of achievement, that I wasn't hitting any such mark or achievement in real life.

Fortunately, the Lord has since freed me from this over the last few months and I have been able to invest the better portion of my time and the better portion of my finances in ways that could honor God; and even more than that, repair the relationships with my family and friends.

Now, back to the God given conversation.

Though I may have a relationship with Christ, not all of my friends do. With this being said, being mindful of what one says and when we say them during certain moments is very important.

I thought that instead of completely summarizing the conversation my friend and I had, that I would simply quote it all for you us to read through together. (For the record I did ask him before doing this. Bet he sure would have been surprised if I hadn't)

Friend: “Well Godfrey, I suck. I said I wouldn't do it. I tried for so long to not do it. I just have a problem, and the first step is admitting it, but I have admitted it over and over again.

Over the last three months I've spent like $2,500 on NX... (In game virtual currency)

I don't even know why. What do I have to show for it?”

Me: “Wow. That's a lot.”

Friend: “It may as well be $1,000,000 considering I don't have a job, and have student loan debt.”

Me: “And you got absolutely nothing? Which isn't the point, but what are you going to do?”

Friend: “I mean I have virtual clothing and pets... =___= I just suck.”

Me: “Well, I'm glad you learned something, but what are you going to do now?”

Friend: “I just have to not spend and try to still play. They (video game Company) just make it so hard in this game.”

Me: “Okay that sounds like a plan, though tempting yourself by playing may be an issue. But whatever you think is best. Just don't lengthen that debt.”

Friend: “You need to grind (the process of engaging in repetitive tasks to achieve something) for 2 months to get the gold AND materials that you need to MAKE your swords...You have to farm for another week to get your enchant PREFIX and SUFFIX.

You enchant the weapon, you need to use the scroll and your weapon. If you want that scroll to NOT blow up your weapon(small percentage that scroll will fail and you will lose weapon/item) you need to buy a $8.90(Dollars, real life currency) rune that is one time use, once for EACH enchant, which can STILL FAIL.

Got both your enchants on? Good. You have about a 33% chance for them to EACH work so if you got that far, you would think you're golden right?

NOPE.

Then you need to enhance the QUALITY of your weapons. +1, +2, +3 are "safe", but +4-8 you have a chance where your weapon will explode: 44%, 9-10 you can still use runes on, to protect them ($8.90 a pop, no guarantee that they will WORK) then from 10-15 you have a 10%, 5%, 2% chance they will succeed and you can't protect them.

You need AT LEAST a +10 weapon to be considered "okay"for raiding.

And all that alone is for your WEAPON.

Now you have to repeat the process with Helm, Chest, Pants, Gloves, Boots, Ring, Ring(Two ring slots), Earing, Shoulder, Belt, Necklace, Badge, Bracelet.”

Me: “Do you remember the conversation we had about why I stopped playing games other than not having much time?”

Friend: “Yeah :C”

Me: “Okay.

Video game Company’s especially mmo's (massive multiplayer online games) and rpg’s (role playing games) are, above all, a business.

They will do whatever they can to entice you into getting engrossed into their game, and then once you start getting the hang of it, in order to get "good" you have to follow "their" 10 easy steps (any number I just made ten up) on how to be the best.

At first it's easy. Just level up and get good gear. But in order to get 'the best gear' you have to spend a little money at the 'beginning' you know, just so your weapon won't blow up. Once your weapon ‘survives’ the transition. Then it has to go through another trial. Except this time you have to spend even more money, and there is still a chance that it will fail.

This is how they get you.

It's like the lottery. You get something good once, maybe, and once you do, they (Video game companies) try and get you to spend more and more, meanwhile you’re over there hoping that you get a similar result to the one you had last. Except once you reach those results, if indeed you do, it doesn't feel like you've won, simply because it cost you a whole lot of "real world money" to get there. 

As much as we wish the virtual world was real sometimes, we live in the real world.

I'm not saying that spending is bad or that video games are bad, but when a game is asking and telling and demanding that we spend real world money until we reach a certain point of being good at any game, yet they set up so many snares to ensure that we fail in order that we have to spend more time and in turn more money in their game, that is more of them doing business than us having fun.

That's how I feel about events. (In game events).

‘For two days only!’

‘Limited edition plate skirt!’(I don't know, just made something up. Good example about how the limited edition thing is never worth it though)

You ‘just’ have to play for 44 hours and spend x amount of real life currency! If you don't live in America it's okay! We have currency exchange! That way everyone gets what they want! (Especially the video game companies getting us more addicted to their game that will hopefully get us to continue to throw our money at them.

It's just a ‘game’ to them. (Ironic)

They want you to have fun, so you can play and enjoy the game in order for you to advertise it to as many people as you can. Then once you all are having fun together, you can spend money together and justify the spending together! Then the cycle repeats and they continue to get rich off us and our friends. Sounds fun right?

‘Definitely worth it.’

‘Or… Or, you can just play 47.9 hours and get it for free! But that won't ensure that you'll get it! So enter your credit card information here!’

Games are fun and all, but I've learned to stop letting those companies control my life.

Playing every once and a while is fine, but not to the point where I feel worse off than before, broke, and not really getting anything done in real life.”

Friend: “Yeah, and I agree with you on ALL of that but I have made video games my life and it's all I know.”

Me: “Well I'm not asking you to quit, but I do think it's wise that you either play another game that demands less of your wallet and maybe even less of your time or just take a break altogether and try something else.

It depends on you though.

It's tough, but the only way things will change is if you want them to.”

Friend: “Truth Yo.

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT AT YOU AND GIVING ME VIABLE FEEDBACK <3"

Me: “Anytime sir. Literally. If you need anything. Just let me know.”

Now, I could have picked up the bible and thrown a whole bunch of verses at him about being a good steward of his money, and how we aren't tempted beyond our ability, but that would not have helped him. He wasn't asking for advice, he wasn't asking for my opinion, he wasn't asking for scripture, he just wanted me to listen.

Many times, this is the hardest thing for me. 

I’m a man. Men like to fix things. Whether it’s as complex as trying to remedy a situation with women (HA, good luck with that one) or taping up a piece of paper, we like to make things better.

Unfortunately wanting to makes things better does not insure that things would end that way.

If I would have approached this situation differently, and recited bible verses to him instead of giving him my attention and sincerely showing that I care for him; not only would I have come off as the furthest thing from demonstrating those things, but his views of not only me, but more importantly of God may have changed as well.

In first John Chapter three verse eighteen reads,

“Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions” (New Living Translation. 1Jn. 3.18).

If I've learned anything over the past year, it’s that sometimes demonstrating the love of Christ is just as important as speaking it.

There was a saying that I’ve heard a few years back, and I heard it during a time that I was struggling with how to minister to people, especially those close to me.

“Your life maybe the only bible someone ever reads.”

Perhaps there are given circumstances that require deep scripture and biblical study, but we don’t always have to get all theological to be able to minister to someone.

Sometimes ministering to someone is as simple as giving someone a bit of your time and listening to what they have to say.

Strengthening the relationships in our lives will in themselves become open doors and as a result, showing Christ through our lives will eventually lead to speaking about Him to others.

So today, if I may, I want to tell you two things.

First, if there is anything hindering you from “living a life worthy of the calling that you have received” (Ephesians 4:1) stop trying to gain levels in that area of your life. Stop investing your time and your money and your emotions into things that are not edifying you are those around you. Your life, the lives of your friends, your wallet and your emotions will thank you greatly.

Secondly, don’t allow your focus to solely be on trying to minister to someone, because “Sometimes we are so busying trying to do ministry, that we are ‘too busy’ to do ministry.” Be there for people. Listen to them. Demonstrate God’s love, and those actions will minister to others on their own.

“Let all that you do be done in love”

 (English Standard Version.1Co.16:14)

The Purpose Behind Our Motives

I had written this a while ago, and for some reason I felt God telling me not to post it up yet. I don’t know, I just do what the big guy says. Maybe he wanted someone specific to read it. Again I don’t know, but I hope that you enjoy it. God Bless!

Well, the fall semester ended a little over a week ago, and I could not be happier to finally have some time to do absolutely nothing related to reading, writing or any form of work at all.

Or at least reading and writing relating to school.

Very recently, because I've had so much time on my hands, I've found myself having the opportunity to be able to read books that I normally would not have the time for, as well as time to write about various things.

The stack of books on my desk, as well as the several pages of written work on both my computer and smartphone could attest to the amount of work that I have committed to during my “leisure time.”

Unfortunately, as a result of all this reading and writing, I began experiencing something that I don’t normally feel during my breaks from school.

Stress. More specifically, stress about getting things done.

I found that the faster that I tried to complete certain things, the more stress I found myself under. I didn't mean to bring all this stress upon myself. I just wanted to finish as many books and write as many things as I possibly could in the short amount of time that I had been allotted during the break. Was that really so bad?

Well in my case it was, solely because of my intentions.

You see, reading and writing in themselves are not something that should cause anyone stress, but when I began placing stipulations or conditions under which I tried to do these things, then yes, stress could definitely be a factor.

Though, this was not really the true issue to begin with. Stress was just a fruit of the real problem that I was facing.

What I was doing was trying to breeze through all my reading and writing just to say that I read x amount of books and wrote x amount of pages. Though I did get plenty out of the books I read, and put in plenty into the things I wrote, my intentions were to race to complete something rather than to get something out of what I was doing.

Reading and writing aren't in themselves bad, but when I’m only doing something in order to get something out of it, or just to get it out of the way in order to do something else or do something better, than that is.

Many of us focus on the end result rather on the process that it takes to get there. Hoping and willing to get to the end of something is great and all, but that should not be our aim. We should be focusing on the process that it takes us to get there in order for us to appreciate what it costs to achieve it.

What I gathered very early on during my break from school this year, was that just because we may have good intentions to complete certain things does not mean that we do them for the right reasons.

School being a perfect example.

How many times have we completed homework assignments or papers just for the sake of getting them done? How much focus did we give those assignments? Was it enough to earn an A? Or, was it just enough to get by?

For me, though the many things that I was trying to complete was not for school, I was not aiming for a high grade at all. In fact, though I would say that I was proud of the work that I was producing and was “hoping” to produce, my motives were misplaced.

I was more focused about getting things out of the way just to say that I did them rather than getting the most I could have out of the situation; and for many of us, that’s how we go through life, just looking to the end.

Have we ever really stopped and thought about why we may be in a certain situation? What if those situations that we were so eager to get out of was a place where God specifically designated for us to be? What if we were so quick to get out of those situations that we missed a divine appointment set up by God?

When we are so quick to get out of something, because of stress, anxiety, fear, or anything else that is clearly not from God, we may take ourselves out of opportunities that God has set up for us.

You know that class that was just a “requirement” for graduation that we were so desperately trying to get through just to be done with it? Well in our attempts just to finish the work and let the semester bring an end to a class that we thought we shouldn't have to take in the first place, there may have been a person in that class that God may have wanted us to reach. Or, perhaps there was a lesson that God wanted for us to learn in the midst of what looked like to us as an “unnecessary waste of time,” and because we were being a “Ms. Debbie Downer,” we were so focused on ourselves that we missed it completely.

When we chose to focus on ourselves and the so called “terrible” situations that we are in, we tend not to demonstrate Godly character or for that matter see what God is doing in the midst of our “unfortunate” situation.

In Ephesians chapter four verses one and two, it reads,

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (New International Version. Eph. 4.1-2).

This verse tells us that we should be worthy of the calling that we have received because of God’s unfailing grace, but many times we don’t act according to the many blessing that God has given us.

As a result, instead of looking at the entirety of the scripture, “we” tend to target certain portions that “we” want to focus on, and in “our” misguided intentions, we may take the word a bit out of context. You know. Like we may do with opportunities and situations we are in.

Because of this, we may want to nitpick some parts of scripture and manipulate it to our liking. Perhaps even taking the word “prisoner” in the wrong context.

A prisoner has few to zero choices, because they are a prisoner, but when we act out according to how we feel according to what the world or the day throws at us, not only are we demonstrating our free will, but we are exerting it so strongly in the wrong way, that it brings us the furthest away from God and his will.

Our goal to complete something is fine, but our intentions and attitudes to how we do it may not be. The same could be said about how I've been reading and writing lately. My focus should not be on the end result, but on the process that it takes me to get there.

I believe Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best, when he said “Life is a journey, not a destination.”

As Christians our destination should be heaven, but before we get there, this life, is a continual journey and a process.

Many times when I read a book, I think about getting to the end of a chapter, or the end the book, because I can’t wait to be done with the reading. But it’s in the middle of the actual reading that I experience the most development and growth.

When we push ourselves just to reach the end, not only are we forfeiting the growing and learning process, but we are cheating ourselves from getting the most out of something.

The verse above says “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

In other words, when we are doing something or are in a place where we wish we could be moved out of, we should remember that we are never anywhere by mistake, nor should we act is if we were.

If we would have been patient, humble and eager to demonstrate God's love to those God may have wanted us to reach in the classroom, amongst the copious other situations that God places us in, perhaps we could have been a blessing to those around us, instead of a hindrance and bad example.

Though the journey and process fall in the middle of the beginning and end of things, and is very crucial to growth, there is one middle that we should desperately try to avoid.

Allow me to clarify this.

Many times in our lives, we are posed with a simple decision to make. Either try or don’t, but there are many of us that fall in a very unique category known as the “or.”

Let me explain.

We don’t want to commit completely to something because, you know, it would require work or we may be “too” busy, but at the same time we don’t want to appear as a quitter or possibly a jerk if someone asks for our help. As a result we fall in an in-between, located somewhere in the middle known as the “or.”

The “or” is not a nice place. The “or” is the place where many people believe they are safe, because if they succeed, then they accomplished something without even trying, but if they fail, well, they didn't try that hard to begin with anyway.

They may also “feel” that it’s a safe place because in the “or” since one is not trying, they experience little to no stress. How nice right?

No. It is not a nice place and it is not a safe place.

For one, the outcome is always uncertain, because we are leaving things to chance rather than in the assurance of God. Second the “or” lies to us into believing that we are saving ourselves from stress when in reality we are cheating ourselves from an opportunity to not only succeed, but to show God’s glory in those situations.

In the book of Revelation, chapter three verses fourteen through sixteen reads,

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth (New International Version. Rev. 3.14-16).

If God would have made this anymore discreet, the bible would have been a pop-up-book.

When we opt for the “or” not only do we become complacent in our belief of what we think is safe or easy, but we chose our will over God’s. God loathes those that seek personal comfort over doing his will, but more often than not, we chose ourselves instead of God and in turn others as well.

Are our intentions on trying our best in order to be a blessing to others and in turn show the sovereignty of God? Or, are our intentions focused on trying to remain somewhere in the middle between our fears, stresses and complacency?

Colossians chapter three verses twenty-three and twenty-four reads,

“23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (New International Version. Col. 3.23-24).

In other words, whatever we do, wherever we are, we should work to the best of our ability, and with all our hearts, as if we are doing it for God.

So instead of allowing the stresses that we bring about ourselves because of our misguided motives and the laziness and complacency that occurs when we decide to take a vacation into the “or,” we should remember that there is a purpose for everything. God did not call us to ignore the people that he has called us to reach, nor to do things out of selfish motives.

Instead he says,

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven (New International Version. Matt. 5.14-17).

Climbing Fig Trees

Over the past few days, I’ve been reading a book that I received this past Christmas, and though I’m not very far into it, there was something that really spoke to me today.

In one of the first few chapters it talks about a familiar story that we may have heard about before. Zacchaeus, the Tax Collector. Well as the title suggests, Zacchaeus was a tax collector, and during this time, tax collectors were not the most popular people, though he was pretty famous. Scratch that, he was actually rather infamous.

You see Zacchaeus was not just any old Tax collector. He was the chief tax collector. With his position, Zacchaeus had the authority of the Roman government to not only collect taxes from citizens in the district, but also to collect more than he should have.

As a result, tax collectors, especially Zacchaeus, were despised and viewed with much animosity by the people he “received” money from.

When I first read this description of Zacchaeus in Luke Chapter ten, I did not like him at all. In fact, I pretty much felt the same way that the citizens that were subject to paying those unfair and outlandish taxes felt like. He was a rich crook that preyed on those that already had little to begin with simply to make himself “richer.” He cared more about his shallow feelings of superiority and wealth, than those suffering at his hands.

At least that’s what I felt like at first.

Could you imagine what Zacchaeus must have felt? How he must have felt when he was constantly being made fun of and ridiculed? How about continually having to hear people mutter beneath their breaths when he walked by? Or, how about knowing that every single person in town knew exactly who he was, and hated him because of it?

Whatever ill feelings I had for him quickly evaporated, and I instantly felt sorry for him. I mean, it does not clearly say it in the scripture, but it says that he was “Chief Tax Collector” which means in order for him to have gained that position, he would have to have been a normal tax collector for a very long time. I’ll leave it up to your imagination to determine how many years he had been involved in this field of work.

So for a solid portion of his life all he knew was hatred from other people, which probably generated hatred on his behalf when it came to collecting taxes.

You know I wondered. If in all the hurtful things that people said to him and in all the pain and rejection that he must have felt, did anyone ever tell him about Jesus? It’s a solid question to be sure, but if people disliked him that much, I doubt it.

I like to imagine that while he walked the streets to collect money from the people, he would hear the name of Jesus and about the wonderful things that he was doing, and how he redeemed and changed people.

Wow.

Imagine Jesus actually coming to the town where Zacchaeus lived? Just the glimpse of this man would have been enough for him. But that would never happen. After all, he was just a tax collector.

In Luke Chapter nineteen verses one and two read,

“19 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy” (New International Version. Lk.19.1-2).

Well that escalated quickly.

Not only did the man that Zacchaeus constantly heard about was making his way through Jericho, but he was close enough to see him!

Well almost.

You see, though Zacchaeus made sure he was never short changed when dealing with financial matters, his height was a different story.

This scripture continues in Luke Chapter nineteen verses three and four when it reads,

3 He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. 4 so he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way” (New International Version. Lk.19.3-4).

Okay, get this picture.

Imagine the very same man that Zacchaeus constantly heard people talking about, for some miraculous reason was not only walking through his town, but was being surrounded by a huge crowd near him. This had to be too good to be true.

Fortunately for him, it was not.

What was unfortunate however, was the fact that he could not see Jesus behind the towering people in front of him. But Zacchaeus was not going to allow something like his own height get in his way from seeing the man that he heard so much about.

Shortly after finding out that he was not tall enough to see over crowd (no pun intended), he looked around and saw a Sycamore tree close by. So he decided to climb the tree and waited until Jesus came into view.

In Luke Chapter nineteen verses five and six read,

“5 When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly” (New International Version. Lk.19.5-6).

How do you think Zacchaeus felt then? A man that had become accustomed to being ignored and not even acknowledged by the people around; that only experienced animosity from the people that he would see on a regular basis; and feeling as if everyone wished that he had never existed, was being called by name, and given the title of host for the evening.

Now many people that do not know about the culture back then would say, “Wow. Jesus invited himself over for dinner? I never thought that he would be one to impose something like that.” And I was one of them, but what Jesus did for Zacchaeus by doing this, was much more than he had ever hoped to receive.

Back then, in the Jewish culture, when one would eat with another, it meant that they identified with that person, it meant that they were friends.

On top of that, giving Zacchaeus host like responsibilities meant that Jesus was putting himself in Zacchaeus hands. In other words the host being the host could have treated Jesus however he wanted or done whatever he wanted. What stands out to me from all this, was that Jesus trusted Zacchaeus with his life and as a result, Zacchaeus’ own life was transformed completely.

Jesus walked right up to Zacchaeus, called him by name, and did him the honor of inviting himself over Zacchaeus’s home for dinner.

For Zacchaeus, this had to have meant the world to him.

He finally had some one look at him. Not with eyes of anger or fear, but eyes that cared for him, eyes to tell him that he is loved. The eyes of a friend. As a result he dropped down the tree as quickly as possible and ushered Jesus to his home.

In Luke Chapter nineteen verses seven and eight read,

“7 All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” 8 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount” (New International Version. Lk.19.7-8).

Apparently this caused a bit of confusion amongst the rest of the towns people. “Zacchaeus? Out of all the people him? The worst fruit on the tree! Why would Jesus want to spend time with him?”

Though the many people were puzzled with what Jesus had done, this was exactly what he had planned even before he had arrived to Jericho.

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved” (New King James Version. Jn.3.17).

This scripture states that God came to save the world, meaning everyone, even those that are rejected by this world.

Finally, Luke Chapter nineteen verses nine and ten read,

“9 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (New International Version. Lk.19.9-10).

These two verses embody the exact reason why Jesus came down to this earth.

To bring salvation.

And to seek and save the lost.

In this story of Zacchaeus the tax collector, not only did Jesus seek Zacchaeus and find him in a Sycamore Fig tree, but through friendship, and showing genuine kindness and concern for him, he brought salvation to him as well.

Literally. Jesus is Salvation.

Even when Zacchaeus may not have believed that he could receive those things based on what he heard said to him, God proved him and everyone else wrong.

For even when the world, or even ourselves, may think that we are the most rotten, spoiled, discolored, misshapen, bruised, worm ridden fruit on the tree, God sees us a different way.

In Zechariah Chapter two verse eight, it reads,

“8 For this is what the Lord Almighty says: “After the Glorious One has sent me against the nations that have plundered you—for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye” (New International Version. Zec.2.8).

When God declares “that we are the apple of his eye,” he is saying that out of all the apples on the tree, we are the one that he desires the most. He sees us. The us that this world chooses to ignore. The us that God chooses to redeem and restore.

So, if anything could be learned from the story of Zacchaeus the Tax Collector, it would be that in order to see things from God’s perspective, sometimes we have to leave the crowds that keep us from seeing him, and find a place where we can.

Even if it is in a Fig tree.

Praying for Rain

Happy twenty fifteen! Wow. Honestly, I feel that every year comes and goes quicker and quicker. It must be an aging thing. Anyway, I hope that you all had a very blessed new years and that you spent it with people that you love.

Well today, though I went to bed near the proximity of four am due to “new year’s” “festivities,” I decided to nonetheless wake up at a very early hour to spend time with my wonderful God.

What would result from just starting, what I thought, was a little prayer of thanks, that I did not expect to last more than a few minutes, became an amazing time of seeking and pursuing and yearning for more of God.

It was during this long and blessed time with my Father, that he placed the book of first Kings on my heart.

Just to digress for a moment, now that I think about it, when I spend time with God and he places a certain book of the bible or a certain scripture on my heart, I like to imagine Jesus walking around a huge library while I patiently wait on a circular rug. Perhaps a red rug. Yes, a red rug seems nice. He carefully skims the columns of books on the shelves, and sometimes he even goes unto the huge ladder attached to the massive shelves in order to reach the books at the very top that nearly reach the ceiling. When he finds the exact book that he has been looking for, he makes his way towards me, cracks the book open, and begins to read me the story.

This is how I feel when I pray to God. I wait and I patiently pray until God finds the right book of the bible or the right scripture or the right lesson that he wants to read/teach me about and then he gives it to me. Sometimes it takes a while for him to find the book, but when he finds, the story or the lesson or the teaching, the time spent with him is always worth the wait. Which is pretty ironic actually, because that’s kind of what I read about in first Kings today.

My main focus in this book, were chapters seventeen and eighteen. Even while I write this, I just think about how good God is for sending this book to me via the Holy Spirit. Even more so to specifically start at chapter seventeen. I thought that I was just selecting a random chapter to start at but the Holy Spirit knew exactly where he was taking me.

What I personally received from these two chapters, was the incredible commitment to God that Elijah had, specifically when it came to prayer.

Now, before getting into Elijah and his incredible commitment to God via prayer, just for some background information and to summarize it as briefly as possible, Elijah came to this woman’s home because God told him that the woman would be able to provide him with food and water during the drought. Even though she said she did not have any food just “a handful of flour in a jar” and “a little oil in a jug,” it was nowhere near enough to feed Elijah herself and her son. Elijah told her that that the flour and the oil would not run out until God brings the rain. And so it was, the flour and the oil did not run out and they were able to eat every day.

In first Kings Chapter seventeen verses seventeen through twenty-four, it reads,

“17 Sometime later the son of the woman who owned the house became ill. He grew worse and worse, and finally stopped breathing. 18 She said to Elijah, ‘What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?’

19 ‘Give me your son,’ Elijah replied. He took him from her arms, carried him to the upper room where he was staying, and laid him on his bed. 20 Then he cried out to the Lord, ‘Lord my God, have you brought tragedy even on this widow I am staying with, by causing her son to die?’ 21 Then he stretched himself out on the boy three times and cried out to the Lord, ‘Lord my God, let this boy’s life return to him!’

22 The Lord heard Elijah’s cry, and the boy’s life returned to him, and he lived. 23 Elijah picked up the child and carried him down from the room into the house. He gave him to his mother and said, ‘Look, your son is alive!’24 Then the woman said to Elijah, ‘Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the Lord from your mouth is the truth’ (New International Version. 1Ki.17.17-24).

Elijah doesn’t say “this wasn’t my God!” or “how is this my fault?” Instead he takes the boy to the “upper room” and begins to pray. Now, it does not say how long Elijah was up there praying, but he went up there with complete faith and determination that God was going to bring the woman's son back to life. No matter how long it would take Elijah to pray to God to raise this boy back from the dead, he was going to stay in God's presence until it did.

How many of us can say that we pray until God speaks to us or until God moves? Personally for me I find it very difficult to remain in prayer, especially if I feel God is not moving or speaking to me, but it’s when we endure past those feelings that God sees our faithfulness and our determination and out of his grace, he blesses us.

It’s just like the library illustration.

God is trying to choose which way to bless us the best. Yet many times, we get “so” “tired” of waiting for God to pick out a “story” that we go out and try to find or make our own.

In first Kings Chapter eighteen verses forty-one through forty-six reads,

“41 And Elijah said to Ahab, ‘Go, eat and drink, for there is the sound of a heavy rain.’ 42 So Ahab went off to eat and drink, but Elijah climbed to the top of Carmel, bent down to the ground and put his face between his knees.

43 “Go and look toward the sea,” he told his servant. And he went up and looked.

‘There is nothing there,’ he said.

Seven times Elijah said, ‘Go back.’

44 The seventh time the servant reported, ‘A cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea.’

So Elijah said, “Go and tell Ahab, ‘Hitch up your chariot and go down before the rain stops you.’”

45 Meanwhile, the sky grew black with clouds, the wind rose, a heavy rain started falling and Ahab rode off to Jezreel. 46 The power of the Lord came on Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel” (New International Version. 1Ki.18.41-46).

There is so much in this portion of scripture.

For one, Elijah had a tremendous amount of faith. He told Ahab to go eat and drink because it was about to rain, but in the next few portions of scripture one could clearly see by the many times that Elijah sent his servant to check if he saw anything, there was not a cloud in the sky.

Despite what human eyes could see Elijah continued to pray and he sent his servant to go check a total of seven times.

Seven.

The number seven has very important significance in the bible. The number seven symbolizes something complete or full. In this portion of scripture Elijah demonstrated and understood the power of complete and persistent intercession when he prayed without ceasing on behalf of the land and the people that were suffering because of lack of water.  

On the seventh time that Elijah sent his servant to check, toward the sea something amazing happened. The servant said, “A cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea.” Well yeah a cloud the size of a human hand may not have been much, but it was a start, and more than that, it symbolized something even greater.

The hand could mean various things, but I like to believe that the cloud that was in the shape of a hand was the hand of God. And, not only was he bringing the rain that he promised Elijah, but he was bringing something else that the people of the land desperately needed.

In scripture, the pouring of rain symbolizes God’s outpouring of his spirit. When we pray and seek God, not only do we find him, but if wait on him long enough for him to speak to us, he pours out his spirit on us as well; just like Elijah when he prayed for the woman’s son, and when he prayed for rain.

Today when I prayed, I did not intend to pray for long, and in all honestly I did not know what to expect, but I did find God and the “story” that he had for me. As a result of just continually praying and seeking I not only found him, but he blessed me with the wonderful gift of his word, and the opportunity to be able to write this post for you.

So with this New Year, I just want to challenge you. If you earnestly want to see a difference in your relationship with God, and you really want to draw closer to him, seek him.

Commit to him.

Wait on him.

Even when you feel like you are not getting anything, sit on that red circular rug and trust and know that the same way that God came to Elijah, every time without fail, he will come to you.

“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

   they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall run and not be weary;

   they shall walk and not faint”

(English Standard Version. Isa. 40.31).